


Zahel and the Hot Bald Teacher

by NothingRiddikulus



Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Crack, M/M, i dont really know what else to say about this, mistborn spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 14:15:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NothingRiddikulus/pseuds/NothingRiddikulus
Summary: Szeth blushed. He was very sexy for a bald man and Zahel liked the way the sun reflected off of his shiny head.Zahel thinks Szeth would be a good father for his beloved son, Nightblood. However the course of true love never did run smooth and things get in the way.





	Zahel and the Hot Bald Teacher

**Author's Note:**

> I am so, so sorry.

Zahel walked through the school gates grumpily. He was a sad, grumpy man. This was because he had to raise his child Nightblood all by himself which was hard but he enjoyed it because he was naturally caring as well as a hunk. However sometimes he wished he had someone to help him. His heart had an really big hole in it and the hole was shaped like love and also like a short bald man who worked in education. 

Dropping off Nightblood he sighed very loudly because he was lonely. His loud grief struck heartfelt loud sigh caught the attention of Nightblood’s teacher. The teacher murmured ‘oh hello Mr Nightblood I didn’t see you there my name is Mr Vallano but you can call me Szeth.’ and then he blushed. if this was a cartoon, the teacher’s massive eyes would have hearts in them but Zahel wouldn’t have noticed he was being crushed on big time anyway because he was so angsty that he didn’t think he could be loved. This was sad because he was actually very hot and his muscles were big.

Szeth blushed again. He was very sexy for a bald man and Zahel liked the way the sun reflected off of his shiny head. ‘Your son is a very good student’, Szeth stammered, obviously trying to catch the attention of the tragically handsome man in front of him who he had secretly been admiring for weeks. 

‘Thank you’ grunted Zahel. He handed the Szeth the sword. ‘I am very proud of my sword, He has killed lots of people’. 

‘WHAT?’ yelled Szeth. ‘what are you talking about? This is very clearly a small child and not a sword! This kind of AU would never work without a child and that means we will never be able to fall in love!’

‘Don’t distress my sweet sugar cheeks’ comforted Zahel, as he wrapped big his arms sexily around Szeth. ‘Yes, Nightblood is a weapon, but I think of him like a son. And our love is strong enough to defy the restraints of our fanfiction genre!’ he chucked Nightblood over his shoulder and puckered up ready to have a passionate makeout session with Szeth.

Suddenly before Szeth and Zahel’s lips could meet, Harmony appeared.

‘who are you?’ demanded Szeth.

‘I am Harmony’ announced Harmony grandly. ‘And I am very qualified to give relationship advice because I am actually made of two shards in one’

‘Does that mean you support our love?’ enquired Zahel

‘No!’ screamed Harmony ‘this is a slow burn and I have to make sure it stays that way! You should not have confessed this early on even if the writer was tired and had exams to take and so-‘

Zahel punched him. Then he kissed Szeth with tongues and everything! 

‘I am actually an ordained minister!’ yelled Nightblood suddenly, and so Szeth and Zahel got married because why not and so Nightblood had two great dads who taught him to ride a bike even though he didn’t have legs and did all the other cool dad stuff with him the end.


End file.
